cruise control though slightly bumpy
at least for the last week. things have been going foreward at that predictable pace that makes you wonder if you are moving at all. i'm settleing into my new job nicely. i guess it was about time that i grew up a bit in the first place. i didn't want to. i still don't. but such is life.
i'm currently taking a break from my current task to try to mix it up a bit at work (and diversify). so they are having me write a developer's guide for a process that i've never actually used myself. up to this point, i wasn't ever sure if i had a limit or not. i'm starting to get the feeling that these people are going to put me to as many tests as my willpower can possibly handle. i don't take failure easily, and i'd rather go mad than give in. so the game is afoot.
to go back a bit in my own train of thought... i'm comming to a few disturbing conclusions. first of all, i'm not getting any younger. secondly, i've been given way too many extra chances from way too many of my friends, who have all been excessivly nice to me over the years. i'm not a serious person. it's a self defence mechanisim... but even that is hardly an excuse. i enjoy my fun, and i don't think there is anything wrong with that. i like the concept of both working hard and playing hard, and i feel it is a good policy since it doesn't leave anything on the table. but i get the feeling that i'm running out of chances, and it scares me. i like to gamble more than the average person, but i'd like to think i used the concept of mitigated risk. i'm quickly reaching the point that i simply don't want to put something on the table when i simply can't afford to lose it. i can't afford to allow myself to be bored... that would put me in far more dangerous of a situtation. perhaps i need to learn to control my idle thoughts. it would be a start, at the very least.
2006 should be a good year for most people i know. actually... all. the cards are simply too good. everyone i know is in a situtation to gain significantly in one way or another. as for myself, i see the path i must follow. i just hope that i have the courage and dicpline to both keep going and not stray.
wow... what a change in tone from my previous posts. sorry about that. if you are even still reading.
i'm currently taking a break from my current task to try to mix it up a bit at work (and diversify). so they are having me write a developer's guide for a process that i've never actually used myself. up to this point, i wasn't ever sure if i had a limit or not. i'm starting to get the feeling that these people are going to put me to as many tests as my willpower can possibly handle. i don't take failure easily, and i'd rather go mad than give in. so the game is afoot.
to go back a bit in my own train of thought... i'm comming to a few disturbing conclusions. first of all, i'm not getting any younger. secondly, i've been given way too many extra chances from way too many of my friends, who have all been excessivly nice to me over the years. i'm not a serious person. it's a self defence mechanisim... but even that is hardly an excuse. i enjoy my fun, and i don't think there is anything wrong with that. i like the concept of both working hard and playing hard, and i feel it is a good policy since it doesn't leave anything on the table. but i get the feeling that i'm running out of chances, and it scares me. i like to gamble more than the average person, but i'd like to think i used the concept of mitigated risk. i'm quickly reaching the point that i simply don't want to put something on the table when i simply can't afford to lose it. i can't afford to allow myself to be bored... that would put me in far more dangerous of a situtation. perhaps i need to learn to control my idle thoughts. it would be a start, at the very least.
2006 should be a good year for most people i know. actually... all. the cards are simply too good. everyone i know is in a situtation to gain significantly in one way or another. as for myself, i see the path i must follow. i just hope that i have the courage and dicpline to both keep going and not stray.
wow... what a change in tone from my previous posts. sorry about that. if you are even still reading.
posted by Bulletproof Shark at 10:33 PM
1 Comments:
So what exactly is this "path that I must follow"?
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