i'm out of titles

this is probably a bad time to write. my creativity isn't really up to par (not that par is usually even remotely acceptable). i shall attempt to give the standard update, and i may rant on a bit about something that doesn't particularly matter, such as the inner workings of my mind.

quick thought... i wonder how different the decision making process is from an internal standpoint from person to person. certianly we don't all come to simmilar conclusions the same way. maybe attepting to decypher how another person's decision process works would be akin to reading another language? well, just a thought.

life has been crawling. and i've been enjoying most aspects of it. the last week has been kinda busy though, as far as after work activity, but that's over for a week or two. the only thing that i didn't like about about the last week was how rigid the schedule was. i didn't have any room to just 'shoot from the hip' so to speak, which i feel is when i'm at my best.

it's happening very slowly, perhaps at a rate of 1% a month, but i feel myself getting less tame. my inner rage just keeps building, and it's not a constant by any stretch. some days i don't even notice it, but the times that i do, it's getting more profound. i'm not sure yet if i should fight it or accept it. i tend to feel that things happen for a reason, so i'll stand in the fog for a little while and see what shape it gathers in.

i really need to clean today. really.

time to muse once more

my cat once again sits in the highest point in the room he can safely reach and watches the area like a general planning an invasion. i'm probably the target. i realize that i talk about my cat quite a bit here. if you don't like cats, then bite me. then the cat will bite you. if you are alergic, i have medicine.

last week at work was tedious. nothing wanted to work as advertized. and nothing wanted to not work with any form of consistancy. i feel like taking a drill to a server rack, but i'll hold off for the time being.

classes are over, and i may not be taking any over the summer. it depends on what is going to be happening with training for work. there is a chance that i'll be going to washington (state) for a week in june for MIIS training. i won't get into geeky detail right now. i mean, look how i'm dressed

so, with this new chunk of free time i have found, i shall dedicate more time to keeping my apartment clean, playing poker, and finding ways to inflict mental damage upon myself. any takers? wusses.

life, overall, is ebbing more than flowing. i think it has more to do with the time of year than anything. the heat slows me down, and it seems to slow a lot of other people down too. i'd like to think that it isn't a calm before a storm (so to speak), but i'm not going to place any bets right now. i think i have a bit of growing up to do in the meantime. just not sure in what areas. this is where the commenters come in.

it does sort of make me wonder... should i calm down a bit, be more quiet, and stop being so outlandish? is my spastic energy just a reminant of childishness? alas, i'm not really that sure. i think that overall my demeanor has become more sober over the last year or two, not that i did it willingly, it was more of a reactionary quality. i do want to become a better person though, more for myself than for the concept.

enough of that melodramitc shit. i don't know why anyone reads this. it's not like there is much excitement to be had in my sentences. just grammatical annoyances joined with mangled words. i don't even captialize words.